Opening to the Experience of
Real Relationship
Introduction
The call to awaken comes from deep within. It
is the invitation to an adventure like none the world has ever offered. The
following dialogue has the awakening of the mind as its primary focus. This
dialogue is representative of this purpose. This is one of many dialogues David
has engaged in, with the intention of uncovering beliefs that seem to obstruct
the awareness of love's presence. He extends both clarity and depth. Since
1990, he has traveled all around the United States and into Canada having very
open discussions in which no questions, concerns, or topics were "off
limits." The discussions have included nondualistic
metaphysics and often resembled a kind of spiritual psychotherapy in which
everyday problems and issues were traced back to the false belief system in the
mind, where correction is then possible by accepting a healing thought--a
miracle. Although these gatherings have taken different forms (i.e., talks,
classes, workshops, weekend retreats, counseling, and longer intensives, held
in homes, churches, backyards, bookstores, etc.) the purpose has remained
unchanged -- to learn true forgiveness and recognize the state of
enlightenment.
Teaching that one can recognize truth as all
there is and awaken now, what is taught is simply a reflection of clarity in
mind. This is a living experience and presence more than just the presentation
of ideas.
As Messengers of Peace, we serve as "mighty
companions" for each other and recognize that awakening is not a casual
endeavor, but one that demands a deliberate and uncompromising commitment. The
depth of discussion reflects our willingness to question all our assumptions
directly and immediately. It may be considered radical or extreme and from the
world's view it is. Total transformation of the mind is approached with a
passion and devotion and a burning desire that comes from within. This is our
unified goal and purpose.
The time has come to awaken. The time for
words and concepts is almost over. Now we seek direct experience of God's Love.
We gladly lay aside techniques and repetitions and rituals,
that we may come to meet God in the Silence of our hearts. What we
thought we knew of God was a mistake. And so we come this time with empty hands
and open arms, aware that we do not know the way to God, yet certain that God
will show us the way.
As we look around we see that mighty
companions have gathered beside us for this final ascent to God. A friend's a
friend forever in the Lord. The welcome never ends in the face of Christ. The
Holy Relationship has come upon us and we are filled with joy and gratitude.
The witnesses to the happy dream are seen everywhere, in every direction we
look, and at all times. The blanket of peace has spread across the face of
earth. Tranquilty is flowing to its corners.
There is nothing left to do but celebrate,
rejoice, bless, and heal. All the trinkets of the world that once caught our
eye are valueless before the vastness of this present experience. All ambition
and striving for future goals has vanished. All curiosity about the world and
its ways has ended. We rest in a stillness so deep and
so unfathomable that time drifts by without its touch upon us. We listen. We
hear. We rejoice.
This journal is merely a collection of words.
Of itself it is nothing. May its words be a reflection of the Inspiration
within you, the Call to awaken and be glad. May you be
speeded on your way to peace, joy, and eternal happiness.
And may you experience that which we cannot speak of, but that which is yours
for the asking.
Opening to the Experience of
Real Relationship
Q: My intention and interest is
in taking a deeper, closer look at the meaning of relationship. I feel like I
don’t know what real relationship is. I’m unclear. I think it’s something that
I am really not aware of. Deep down I feel that real relationship is being in
Union with God, but that is beyond my experience. So everything I have believed
about relationship has not brought me to the experience I have yearned for. I
truly want to know the experience of real relationship.
D: It’s a good starting point for you to
admit that you don’t know what real relationship is. You can say the words
“Union with God,” though you speak of a collection of words that are not your
experience. You are stating your intention to come to the experience of real
relationship. What have you thought that relationship is in your life?
Q: I think of relationship as a
harmonious experience of connectedness between one person and another person.
D: Let’s start out by looking at what your
experiences have been. You have experienced disillusionment.
Q: Yes.
D: In every attempt that you have put forth
to be in the connectedness you have sought, to be in that harmonious
relationship you have sought, you have been disillusioned.
Q: Yes, disillusioned in
marriage and to some extent in all my relationships.
D: Marriage, family relationships,
friendships, employment relationships, etc. have all been unsuccessful in
meeting your desire for a consistent harmony and an experience of lasting
connectedness.
Q: Yes. I have at some time or
another been disillusioned in all of my relationships because I have not found
the lasting happiness, the lasting harmony, the lasting feeling of
connectedness.
D: How do you define relationship? This is a
beginning point in dissolving the disillusionment and dissatisfaction you
experience. Are you aware of all of the unconscious assumptions and definitions
you hold about the concepts of relationship in your mind? Do you have any idea
of the hold these concepts exert on your experiences of this world? First we
must take a look at how you have defined relationship, for your experiences of
the world result from your beliefs and concepts and thoughts about yourself and
the world.
Q: I’m not defining it now I
notice, or at least if I am defining it now it is not a conscious thing. I’m so
much more aware that I don’t know what it is ...instead of thinking that I do
know what it is.
D: If you seem to experience disillusionment,
be assured that you firmly believe that you “know” what is not true.
Disillusionment is not an experience of True Knowing, Wisdom, and
Understanding. We are together going to discover and release the false belief
of attempting to know and figure out the world and the cosmos, or in this case
the meaning of relationship in this world. Let us start this journey together with
whatever comes to mind right now.
Q: Well relationship seems to
be between persons. And I guess a characteristic of a so called “good”
relationship would be open communication.
D: And how would you characterize open
communication?
Q: I would say open
communication is a willingness to talk things out. It is a willingness to put
your feelings and thoughts out on the table and work things through. And that
working through, I believe, probably always results in changing some form
component. What I mean by “form component” is that a change of circumstances is
made as a result of that working out or working through or talking through.
That change is supposed to help the situation and that change is supposed to
make a difference or bring about a solution to the problems which arise in the
relationship. And lots of problems arise in a relationship, so there is a great
need for open communication.
D: You say “problems arise in a
relationship,” so you’ve defined the problems as something wrong within the
relationship as you perceive it.
Q: Yes.
D: And in defining the problems as “within
the relationship,” you also believe that something needs to change “in the
relationship” in order for there to be a solution to the
problems, for there to be the experience of connectedness and harmony that you
yearn for.
Q: Yes, that’s it!
D: You believe that a change in form is
necessary for there to be a feeling of connectedness.
Q: Yes. For example: “We’re not
speaking to each other enough, or we’re not sharing enough activities, or we’re
not spending enough time together.” Problems in relationships are always along
those lines of thought.
D: So the problem as you see it is defined in
terms of form and the solution to the problem is defined that way too. Did
those definitions and that method of problem solving ever work for you? Did you
find the lasting happiness and harmony you sought for in that perception of
relationship?
Q: No, no, no! (Laughter)
D: (Smiling) Did you
give it a sufficient number of attempts?
Q: Yes, yes, over and over. It
was so circular. The frustration for me was that the willingness was there to
talk things out, but we didn’t have a clue on how to do that. I mean I think we
wanted to find a solution, but we didn’t know how to talk about it. We just
didn’t know how to work it out. It’s like we were missing the boat in finding
the problem and so we were missing the boat and solving the problem, but we
didn’t even know that. So the problem was never solved -- surprise, surprise.
It was very circular. At best we’d arrive at a temporary solution that made
things seem to feel better for awhile. But the solution never lasted because
the same problem or a related problem always recurred.
I think another characteristic
in my mind of relationship, of a good relationship, had to do with some
longevity built up over time. Shared history and shared pain and shared joys
and shared struggles were all part of building a good relationship. It was a
combination of the up side and down side, all of it. Longevity made the
relationship seem stronger even though there were many ups and downs.
D: And what happened to that notion?
Q: At some point longevity made
no difference at all. That wasn’t the cementing factor in the relationship. It
seemed to crumble in spite of many years of being together.
D: Well this is a good start, then, in seeing
the disillusionment of defining relationship in a certain way and looking for
solutions to problems in a certain way. It is seeing the disillusionment of the
pattern of trying to use relationships to solve a perceived inner lack, an
emptiness that was unresolved. It is a pattern of looking to forms and
situations and outcomes to resolve the feelings of emptiness or lack of
connection and intimacy. We are together on the verge of learning that forms
and outcomes and situations are the past, so when I want to fix somebody, when
I want to change somebody, when I want a situation to change, a behavior to
change, I am actually hoping to change the past to resolve an inner conflict.
The belief is that a change in form is a real change and will really resolve
the conflict.
Q: So how do you mean that? How
do you mean that looking for a change in behavior, whether it’s the other
person’s behavior or even my own behavior, or wanting a change in my situation
-- is hoping to change the past?
D: Well everything is truly perfect As Is
right now, yet feelings of emptiness, feelings of lack of connection, and
feelings of lack of intimacy are all only symptoms of the belief that things
would be better off if they were different than they are. The world of images
is the past, and the desire to change the images is the desire to change the
past. This is a reflection of the belief that one can only find what one seeks
if something changes in form. It is the demand that the past be different
instead of opening to the healing idea that only a change of mind is necessary
to resolve the apparent conflict. This change of mind can only occur in the
present, and can only offer the awareness that the past is gone.
Q: How do I come to that
awareness, the awareness that the past is gone?
D: It is essential to begin to realize that
the resolution of all conflict is within the mind. You have to be willing to
look within your mind before we can really get at the problem or recognize the
Solution. The apparent problem is resolved as it is brought to the inner
Solution, and that is why everything is truly perfect As Is right now. The
inner Solution knows no opposite.
Our discussion must necessarily include
metaphysics or a willingness to go beyond the physical, beyond what is
perceived with the five senses. We must be willing to open to the Truth of our
very Being in God. Only in the present, this very instant, the Living Moment, is there true freedom and release.
Q: OK. I am willing to look at
this very deeply. I truly want to find peace that lasts and an Intimacy that is
Constant. I am willing to do whatever it takes. What are some basic metaphysics
that we need to explore? It seems that you are implying that I have a lot of
unconscious beliefs and assumptions that I need to question. Is this the case?
D: We must together question all that has
been believed to be true. We must from the outset not hold any belief to be
sacred or beyond question. For we cannot experience what
is beyond the physical unless we are willing to question all that we
have believed to be true. Do you understand the direction our
discussion must take?
Q: Yes, I see the direction we
are moving in. We are looking at very basic questions, questioning the very
nature of reality, the very nature of what is real. It is asking those
questions: “What is God? Who am I? What is the meaning of life?” This is where
we are going in all of this, isn’t it?
D: Indeed! Let us be very direct and
straightforward. Awakening to Truth is the simple realization that God is real
and that Love is real, and that there is no opposite to
a Loving God. Divine Mind, Being One with God, is Created
to be a Creator. Spirit, Being and Creating in the
likeness of God, is Spirit. As God is Spirit, so is All Creation. So the
natural State of the Mind is Pure Creativity. Creation is the extension of God.
And Being One with God is to extend as God extends. This is what Jesus refers
to as the Kingdom of Heaven.
Perception, as a sharp contrast, is a
distortion of Creative ability. And projection makes perception. In other
words, there appear to be illusory thoughts in mind that weren’t Created by God and that seem to be projected or to “go out”
apart from the Mind of God. In truth this is impossible, for Ideas leave not
their Source, and What God Creates as One is One forever. Miscreation
is projection and this is always a distortion of Reality. All perception is
unreal in that sense because it has no divine origin. Perception was made
instead of Created, and therefore cannot be real.
So in very basic terms, Mind was Created to be a Creator, not a perceiver. Perception is the
wish to be “some thing” that You, as Spirit, are not.
This wish seems to have taken form. So the entire perceptual world of
time/space/matter is an illusion. The nothingness of illusion pertains to all matter,
all time, and all space, for what seems to be linear time-space is a distortion
of Reality and but masquerades as an “opposite” to Eternity. This apparent
cosmos of galaxies and stars and creatures is the belief that it is possible
for there to be “some thing” other than God, other
than Eternal Love.
With the belief in separation from God, the
sleeping mind became identified with the body and a cosmos surrounding the body
as its new “home.” The body is seen as the subject, which then perceives a
world and a cosmos with other bodies as the object. There is something to
perceive with, a body and five senses, and something that is perceived, a world
and a cosmos, and that’s what’s involved in perception.
If we examine this in a time sense, all of
those forms, all those projected idol image thought forms, are the past. In
other words, the ego seemed to happen in the unholy instant, in the past where
the mind seemed deceived and confused and forgot its True Reality. The
projected world is just a shadow or an out-picturing of the false idea that is
the past. So, when we talk about personal relationships and bring our
discussion back to the context of relationships, we could accurately say that
all personal relationships are the past. The grievances that are held always
involve the body self-concept and behavior: (ie., “You said you would do
this and you didn’t, you aren’t the same as when I first married you. We agreed
to be together, but you’re not the same person that I married.”) Money issues,
sexual issues and concerns, jealousies, envy, and all the so-called
relationship “problems,” no matter how you define the situation, are body
based. They are based on the belief in the reality of the past. The deceived
mind is trying to use the past to resolve the guilt and conflict that it feels
(ie., “I’m lacking and there’s something that can
make up for that lack, there’s something in the world to complete me, and
there’s a way that things can work out that will make me happy and fill the
void I feel inside.”)
Q: So, when you talk about
using the past to resolve conflict, you’re talking about the belief in
separation. Is that what you are referring to when you say “using the past to
resolve the guilt and conflict?”
D: Yes. The belief in separation gets played
out in form in such a way that the out-picturing of the belief seems to be a
perceptual world in which persons, places, events, and things are still here
and still happening, though in reality they are already over. They are all the
past. What seems to be still occurring reflects the belief in separation in
mind, the belief that one is lacking something, the belief that one is not
whole and complete already.
In other words, the cosmos was made to be
like a movie screen or a giant distractive device, a dream where pseudo
problems and pseudo salvation could be worked out. The world is a dream of
images, a vast magic show which the ego holds out as a substitute to Eternal
Reality. The ego is trying to convince the sleeping mind that happiness can be
found on the movie screen or in the dream. Every attempt to get “relationship,”
defined in form terms, to “work out,” is an attempt to find happiness and love
where they are not. This is a prime example of “looking for love in all the
wrong places.” Yet this blind seeking applies to all form, for Love is Spirit
and not limited to form of any kind. And the sleeping mind which seems to have
forgotten its Identity as Spirit appears to be dreaming of a world of
unreality, though it knows not it is dreaming.
Relationships which are defined in terms of
form are always defined in terms of persons. Believing its “self” to be a
person, the sleeping mind has dissociated the Light of Truth and has forgotten
“I am Spirit, I am Eternal, I am Changeless.” Focused
in on and identified with a fragment (person), as opposed to or in contrast to
other fragments (persons), the sleeping mind perceives everyone as a separate
person with a separate mind and separate characteristics. There is an apparent
ongoing push and pull, a repulsion and attraction in
these co-called “form relationships,” and there is an underlying friction which
seems to exist between these so called fragments (persons). Each one seems to
be a fragment with a “life of their own,” and each one seems to be very unique
and very different from the others.
The world teaches: “even in the best of
relationships, you’ve got to take the good with the bad, because after all no
one is perfect.” In this world perfection is illusive, for there never was a
perfect person or a perfect family or a perfect marriage or a perfect
relationship. Yet when we go much deeper into the lack of connectedness we can
begin to see that the way relationship is defined is the problem. It is an
erroneous concept of relationship that blocks real relationship from awareness.
The world’s concept of relationship includes the concept of persons with
private minds, thoughts, bodies, needs, wants, and personal interests.
Therefore interpersonal relationships are seen through the lens of lack (ie.,
fulfilling needs, mutual psychological and sensory gratification, reciprocity,
etc.).
Q: Yes, my happiness is in
meeting your needs and having my needs met by you is a common belief. That is
the common hope in relationships.
D: The sleeping mind believes that it is a
person, that it has real needs, that it is lacking in certain
ways, and that it takes other people to help meet those needs and
fulfill those lacks. When one looks at the world at large, at a larger scale so
to speak, there seems to be an interdependence apparent in the way the world is
set up (ie., the food chain, the ecological system,
supply and demand, and psychological dependencies as well). The idea of
interdependence is that there is a chain of dependence of one person or thing
upon another person or other people and things. The belief system of the world
relies on this dependence for its existence. The belief system on which all of
this is based is what has to be questioned if we’re to get down to the bottom
of the false concept of relationship and discover the meaning of real
relationship.
There is a lot of talk about intimacy and
connectedness and harmony. In love songs lyrics speak of “forever” and
“everlasting,” and certainly the ideal of enduring, everlasting, harmonious,
continuous relationship sounds good. Yet those terms don’t describe what is
perceived as interpersonal relationship in this world. For even in the “best
relationships,” when they seem to be sustained that is, it is still perceived
that death of the body or splitting up and moving on cuts the relationship
short of the ideal.
Q: And are you saying that this
perceived “cutting short of the ideal” is all because the relationship is
defined in terms of the body?
D: Yes. Bodies seem to join and to separate,
but True Union is Eternal. Loss is the belief in separation, which is
symbolized by a limited body identity. All definitions of relationship that
involve the body are based in loss, yet in real relationship, of the Spirit,
there is no such concept of loss. Even the seemingly more “advanced”
relationship concepts, (ie. twin flames or soulmates) are based on an assumption that relationship
involves bodies, that there is a person in the world for everyone that is a
“true love.” The unconscious belief is that there’s some kind of wholeness
which is accessible when those two people come together that is otherwise not
available. Yet True Wholeness is the ever accessible Divine Mind Which transcends
the belief in separation and the body entirely. Wholeness is the experience of
the Living Moment.
The Soul is Spirit and is not limited or
contained in any way. The Soul is not in a body, nor are there separate souls,
for the Soul is One. There are not separate “souls”
seeking to “return” to the One, there is only the One. The concept that Destiny
is fulfilled when two “souls” meet each other rests on the concept of
separation and the “relationship” is dependent upon the “meeting” of souls,
dependent upon finding that “lost soulmate” or that
“twin flame.” There’s still a dependency on time-space and form in this
artificial construction of relationship. The Mind is infinitely One in Reality, but in the deceived state of mind asleep
there appear to be separate persons, separate bodies, and each separate person
or body seems to have a separate mind associated with it. So the properties of
the body have been assigned to the Mind/Soul, and the Mind/Soul is then seen as
fragmented. In this sleeping state of mind, relationship is therefore defined
in terms of persons. We seem to have one person with a body, mind, and soul and
another person with a body, mind, and soul, and they may seem to have some
commonalities, some shared interests and goals, some of the same likes and
dislikes.
Q: ...And the more the better.
(Laughter)
D: Yes, according to the world, the more the
better. Intuitively common ground can be a symbol of Oneness, yet “the more the
better” implies that there will be differences, that everybody is a unique and
separate and individual, and that no two people are completely alike. In the
world’s perspective there may seem to be common ground in terms of values,
priorities, and even in terms of physical or sexual compatibility.
Q: Or even lifestyle.
D: Yes. Social class, status, and many
different things seem to be common ground in terms of the world. These are all
ingredients in the world’s view which go into the making of a “good
relationship.” Yet we come full circle to the point that you began with, that
you don’t know real relationship. And the reason you don’t know real
relationship is because what the world calls “relationship” is not real
relationship at all. It is a farce, being false. It appears to hold out the
promises of happiness and harmony. The ideal is to
live happily ever after, but that ideal is an illusory form, and as one goes
through experiences of this world the ideal seems to be shattered over and over
and over again and again. The illusory form never lasts, for what was made
temporal can never be Eternal. There is no substitute for the Eternal Love of
God.
The deceived mind looks to form, to the past,
to fill the void it feels. The deceived mind has denied the perfection of this
very instant, and attempts to change the form until it finds the ideal, the
perfect form of happiness. This is looking for Love where It
can never be found. This is looking for Eternity in time-space. Yet time can
never take the place of Eternity, nor can the finite replace the Infinite. And
concepts of self can never take the place of the Self God created One forever as Spirit.
Q: I’m feeling like I want to
be more in touch with those self concepts, whatever they are. I am not sure
about what I believe and what I am clinging to and trying to make real.
D: It takes willingness and attentiveness to
examine beliefs closely. You begin by just noticing the thoughts, the thoughts
that seem to fill your consciousness everyday, and
you will gain some idea of how body related they are. As you give your
attention to the Purpose of forgiveness, you begin asking in every situation:
“What is this for? What does this bring me?” Is this pursuit bringing me
security and connectedness and peace and harmony. If I
know where I’m going to be staying, who I’m going to be with, and what I’m
going to be doing in the future, what does this really bring me? Has there ever
been a lasting peace and security in “knowing” the past or attempting to
“figure out” the future? What self concept has ever brought you a lasting
experience of connectedness?
Q: Are you suggesting that
anytime I can notice that I think there’s a form that will provide me with
peace, happiness, and security, that this noticing is exposing my self concept?
D: Yes.
Q: I’m not real clear on that.
Can you expand on that idea? I’m not seeing the connection real clearly.
D: Well, in the ultimate sense, the entire
cosmos makes up the self concept. In its deceived or sleeping state, the mind
seems to select or zoom in on particular things that it wants to identify with, that it thinks will bring it security and happiness.
It has forgotten desireless Oneness and is dreaming a
world of false desire. In the dreaming of the world this so-called selection
can appear to have enormous variation. The sleeping mind seems to take on the
forms of the world (ie., a body identity, partnership, money, power, fame,
romance, just to name some of them).
Q: Then love, as I have
experienced it in this world, is still part of that deception, that condition
of sleep and dreams?
D: If you mean by “love” romance and sexual
attraction and mutual gratification, yes they are all experiences of the self
concept. Anything that seems to exist in form, in and of itself apart from the
rest of the cosmos, is the self concept. Divine Mind is completely Abstract. An idol is an illusion of a specific form, and God
knows not form. Idols are believed to offer a satisfaction and happiness will
that will substitute for the Abstract Love of God, and
the “game” of the deceived mind is the pursuit of these things. Seek and do not
find is the game of the world. So opening to the State of Mind which transcends
the self concept is truly a miracle. You begin by watching your mind so you can
start to notice the attachment to the things of the world, then you sink
beneath those thoughts to the Divine Light within. Meditation is an emptying of
the contents of consciousness. There is a Silence within in Which
the world disappears completely.
Q: I can tell by those
thoughts, when I think along that line of thought, that I must still believe
that there’s this perfect mix of Mind and body (Laughter). Maybe I think it’s
95% Mind and 5% body, but as long as I think that there’s even a tiny percent
of anything but Divine Mind, it’s a joke isn’t it?
D: Yes. There is no Life, Truth, Substance,
or Intelligence in matter. There is no Mind in matter. Divine Mind is Abstract,
yet the concepts of time, space, the body, etc. are concrete or specific.
Forgiveness is unlearning the belief that there is Mind in matter. It is seeing
that matter is causeless or without a source. The sleeping mind, under the
Spirit’s Guidance, is unlearning the belief that an Idea of God can leave its
Eternal Source and have existence in time-space apart from its Source. It is
unlearning the belief that Spirit can leave Spirit and enter into
time/space/matter. The sleeping mind is thus unlearning everything it has
“learned” about “material existence.” Such is forgiveness.
The world is the attempt to combine the body
and the Mind. Yet the truth is that body and Mind are not reconcilable. Divine
Mind is completely, wholly, totally Mind. There can be no compromise in
Absolute Truth.
The Truth is true and has no opposite. The
Truth is “What Is,” Absolute and Eternal and
Changelessly Perfect. So what is practical in realizing the Truth? To forgive
is practical, and to forgive is to expose the false as false by watching the
mind and releasing thoughts and beliefs that have no basis in Reality. It is
important not to despair when you begin to uncover and expose illusions, when
you begin to attentively watch the thoughts of consciousness. It is important
not to be discouraged as erroneous thoughts surface, but to be very grateful
that such thoughts are not real thoughts. Seeing their unreality is the true
release. Such is healing.
The only reason to be so attentive and alert
in mind watching and to want to release erroneous thoughts is because they
cover over the Divine Light in awareness. Opening to the Light within is
opening to a Higher Purpose.
Q: Do you at some point feel a
certainty about relationships? As the mind is riveted on a Higher Purpose is
there a certainty of Union with God in relationship? It’s just that I haven’t
equated Purpose with relationship and I think I don’t know what "Higher
Purpose" and "relationship" really mean.
D: This is why we are looking at all this
very deliberately, very directly, and very slowly, step by step, precept by
precept, assumption by assumption. You will discover that every question is
really a question of identity and is based on what you believe to be true about
yourself and the cosmos. A sleeping, deceived mind is unclear about everything
and “knows” nothing, for it has denied its Self and God, and its Self and God can only be known. Clarity is instantaneous, it’s not something that takes time to
realize. Removing the blocks or obstacles to clarity is the task at hand.
Q: You don’t have to think
about clarity, right?
D: Clarity is not something that requires
analysis or synthesis. Analysis and synthesis are erroneous streams of thought
about the past and future. Clarity is Now. It is not
something that is put together or built upon or arrived at in the future.
Clarity is this Moment.
Q: It’s here in a flash?
D: Yes. If you are clear Now,
then awareness is clear Now and there are no false assumptions believed real.
If you seem to feel lost or unclear, there are beliefs and assumptions that
seem to block the Light within, the Light of Understanding.
Q: I don’t know what questions
to ask. I don’t know where I’m not clear.
D: Let’s keep our discussion very simple.
Look at how you are feeling now. Look directly at what you are feeling in this
Moment.
Q: I don’t know ...kind of,
just kind of limbo.
D: What does that feel like for you?
Q: Ummm.
Kind of suspended or in between.
D: In between. Ahhhhh, the belief in duality to
look at and release. Suspended ...something behind and
something ahead ...something to move toward and something to move away from.
What is this something that you believe is out in front of you, out in the
future? If you believe and feel as if you are in between, you must believe you
are in between something and something else.
Q: I think I feel as if I am in
between what I once defined as relationship and what is actually an experience
of real relationship, between what I thought I knew and didn’t, and what I
don’t yet think I fully know.
D: Well since we are not concerned with
finding meaning or understanding in illusions of the past, let us turn our
attention again to the experience of real relationship, which you have labeled
“what I don’t yet think I fully know.” An experience of real relationship
...when would that experience be, what time could it be but Now?
Q: (Laughter) I know the words
“It is Now,” but I don’t know if I really know the
experience. I still am not sure about the present moment that you speak of.
Maybe there isn’t any experience except Now, but I still believe in a past and
a future.
D: Okay, look at this directly. You speak of
the Now as a concept, but when you say you feel in limbo, in between something
and something else, you define these two “somethings”
as the way you used to define relationship in the past and the “hypothetical
experience” of real relationship you pretend to want and yet believe is in the
future. If you feel in limbo, if you feel in between, if you feel confused, it
must simply be that you are not clear Now?
Q: Yes. Oh I accept that
...that I’m not clear Now.
D: You accept it. But are you willing to
question what you believe and your perceptions of yourself and the world?
Belief clouds mind and perceptions of self and the world. Can you see that?
Q: I accept that that is the
case. I accept that that must be the case, otherwise I
wouldn’t feel in limbo. I don’t know where to go with that feeling though. I
don’t know how to go deeper so I can be clear about this? I guess I’m not clear
on what it is I’m not clear about.
D: Then let us retrace our steps a bit. Relationship problems, as they are defined in this world, are always specific. What are some specific relationship problems that come to mind for you? What are the things that are bothering you about relationships in your stream of consciousness? You must start with concrete, specific examples and work it back much deeper into the mind to discover what you still believe is real and true. It shouldn’t be a strain or effort, as if you were on a witch hunt looking for the conflicts in your mind. If you just relax and watch the thoughts go by, gently become aware of something that seems slightly distressing, annoying, or irritating about any relationship you may think of. Just relax and try not to willfully search your mind. Just sink inward and be still a moment, and let the thoughts go by. Notice them.
(Pause)
Q: What comes to mind is the
trivial stuff that we were laughing about at dinner, the stuff I that I use to
block my experience of the Joy of the Moment.
D: Be more specific?
Q: Ummm,
...having my mind be occupied with what is really of no consequence, with what
really doesn’t matter, that which is all about form, that which is petty and
doesn’t support my remembering the Joy of the Moment. I’m afraid of the Silence
of this Moment, afraid of the nothingness it will bring, fearful to not have
any of those trivial thoughts about the stuff of the world. And that’s why I
said that there’s a time and place for that trivial stuff in a flippant,
arrogant tone of voice, as if some of that trivia is good and necessary. When I
am in the flow of the Moment, happy and content, I feel on Purpose. In the flow
it seems I am completely unaware of those trivial thoughts. I don’t feel on
Purpose when I’m having those trivial thoughts.
D: From what you are speaking about it seems
you feel emotionally split. The declaration I hear in your statements is that
at times you experience yourself as having trivial thoughts that annoy you and
at other times you feel that you are on Purpose with the Spirit and feel happy
and content. Yet you can’t be two selves that are completely irreconcilable in
every way, one being true and one being false. It is not possible to be one
self at times and another self at other times. You must come to the point where
you can identify the content of the false as false and see that the trivial
thoughts and the emotional upset of any kind or degree are not and never have
been the Real You. The illusion of upsetting emotion comes from the attempt to
hold on to and make real that which has no reality whatsoever. All of the
trivial thoughts you speak of are thoughts of the
past or future and are specific forms or images or scenes or events. These
trivial thoughts are all the same in that they are all the past. And these
trivial thoughts are believed to be the source of happiness by the deceived
mind. These trivial thoughts are clung to and justified and defended by a deceived
mind that believes the solution to a feeling of inner emptiness can be found
among them. Yet this deceived mind is itself trivial stuff, for it is not real
and it is not Who You are, the I Am Presence. The happiness of the Real You and
the Real God Which created You is simply the
experience of this Moment. For there really Is only
Now.
Q: Then I can release those
trivial thoughts.
D: Believing that anything exists apart from
this Moment, such as the belief in a self (a person) that has to stop thinking
all this trivial stuff by force and effort if necessary, is simply a false
belief that has no reality. God created You as Love
and therefore You cannot be two selves, a person on a time line and an Eternal
Spirit. Spirit (Love) has no opposite. This very moment is Life ItSelf. There is nothing else. You can only truly
experience “What Is” right now! Your Real Relationship is in God this very
moment, and this Relationship is the only Real Relationship, for Divine Mind
(Love) has no opposite.
Q: So the frustration and the
confusion about worldly relationships is really an attempt to be two selves.
And you are saying that such an attempt is impossible in Reality. So I can only
accept my Self as God created Me, as Spirit or Divine
Mind, because there is nothing else besides my Self and God in an Eternal,
Loving Real Relationship. I have My Life in and of the Mind of God.
D: Yes!!! The Truth is Divinely Simple. It is
the Silence, the Stillness of Life in Divine Mind. It is Spirit. It is
Everlasting Happiness and Freedom and Joy! Letting go of the ego (deceived
mind) is releasing all erroneous thoughts, including the belief in a self that
could ever think such thoughts. Only the Idea of Christ, a Pure Thought in the
Mind of God, is true. And You are That. That is All there Is.
Q: Do I know how to let go of
the ego?
D: Yes, you must.
Q: Because Love is my natural
State of Being, is that why you say yes I must? I must know how to forgive the
ego and remember Love?
D: Conflict would be Eternal if you couldn’t
remember the Love that You are.
Q: So you are saying that if I
claim that I don’t know how to release the ego, or I claim I don’t know how to
do it quite yet, that claim is just the ego making an excuse, afraid of the
Love?
D: Yes. And excuses are illusions. It was the
ego that believed in the need to make them. Effort itself is an illusion. It
takes no effort to Be What You are right Now.
Q: I still feel at times that I
am just not trying hard enough and consistently enough to reach Enlightenment.
D: The “I” of which
you speak is not You as God created You. Awakening is the experience of your
Reality Now. Awakening is the release of the concept that there are two selves,
a letting go of the belief that observed and observer are separate, that
subject and object are separate. All strain comes from comparison, and all
comparison presumes a split that is not real. How can the comparison of two
illusions, both unreal, be meaningful? The comparison of nothing to nothing is
meaningless. Illusions are one, not many. There is no split in the perceptual
world, just a single erroneous belief in separation in mind. Seeing the
impossibility of this belief is healing or coming to Wholeness.
Q: I want to get this anchored
in awareness. I feel like it is such an expansive awareness and yet it feels
very tentative and elusive, like I’m just barely touching it. So it is a
letting go of the idea that the "thinker" of time/space/matter "thoughts"
has any reality whatsoever. Are you saying that that "thinker" is not
real?
D: God is real. Christ, a Thought of God, is
real. Eternity, Eternal Thought, is real. The time/space/matter cosmos is not
real because it has no source, no “thinker,” no real "source," and
therefore follows nothing. Spirit Creates Spirit,
Eternity Creates the Eternal, Infinity Ceates the
Infinite, Perfection Ceates the Perfect. An erroneous
belief is not Spirit, not Infinite, not Eternal, and
not Perfect. Christ is a Thought in the Mind of God, and God is a real Thinker.
The “thinker” of the apparent temporal cosmos is not a real thinker, so the
cosmos has no reality at all. There is no need to harbor or protect meaningless
“thoughts” or to attempt to maintain a meaningless “thinker.” The “thinker” and
the “thoughts” are one illusion, and that illusion has gone. You are as God
created You right Now!
Q: I am not so sure, at least
not yet.
D: A “not yet” thought is simply an attempt
to deny the Reality of That Which You are forever.
Reality is beyond the need for acceptance. “What Is”
remains forever “What Is.” To accept Reality really only
means to be aware of It. Any doubt or uncertainty is characteristic of
the “thinker” and the “thoughts” that make up the ego/cosmos illusion.
Q: So all the time-space
“thoughts” are unreal and the mind that seemed to “think” the unreal thoughts
is unreal -- that’s what it amounts to. The ego has no source and therefore
does not exist.
D: Precisely!
Q: And so that illusion can’t
be Who I am.
D: Indeed! You are as God created You.
Q: It’s that awareness I was
trying to get at just a couple of days ago, when I was asking you to talk about
real thoughts. That’s what this is about isn’t it? It’s that distinction
between real thoughts and unreal thoughts?
D: (Smiling) To Be
or not to Be. To think with God or to attempt the impossible and make believe
illusions are real. To feel Loving forever or to
hallucinate the experience of upset and suffering...
Q: Only the real “I” can think
real thoughts, and everything else was from a make believe "i". And I can tell which “I” is the real “I” by how I
feel right Now. Is that what you’re saying?
D: Yes. We began this conversation by
exploring the topic of relationship, but we have come to the Point of healing
the mind by releasing the single belief in separation that was the underpinning
of the entire time/space/matter cosmos. We discovered together that a
fundamental assumption in defining all interpersonal "relationships"
was the concept of personhood, of separate selves with separate bodies, minds,
and thoughts. In sleep and deception it has appeared as if the split was within
the perceptual cosmos, on the screen so to speak (ie., subject/object,
observer/observed, perceiver/perceived, person/other person,
individual/cosmos), though in Light it is seen that the split was but an error
in mind. Seeing the unreality of the error has demonstrated the unreality of
the cosmos the error seemed to produce.
Reality is Whole as
Divine Mind is Whole and as Spirit is Whole. Oneness is of and in God and
cannot be broken apart. You are Vast as God created You.
You cannot possibly be a fragment of mankind, a fragment of humanness among
many other such fragments, in a cosmos which seems to be filled with hostility
and conflict. All the former “effort and striving” were directed at protecting
and defending this make believe self-concept of multiple selves and a cosmos
that has no reality at all. Happily that illusion of effort is past, for Who You are Now is a Fact of God. You are not multiple
selves, just One. And your Real Self, the One Spirit,
is indivisible. Such is the simple Truth.
Awakening is Inner Harmony and You simply cannot “oppose” anything. There is no one and no
thing “else” for You to oppose, You Being Pure Oneness. One Self is Reality.
All comparisons and judgments and concepts and opinions vanish when it is seen
that they were all but one illusory self of meaningless thoughts. All opinions,
every seeming fragment, and every seeming person that seemed to have an
existence outside the Mind of God were one illusion. This was the past, yet the
past is gone. The Truth is forever of God, in Eternity, and Changelessly Now!
Q: So, are you saying that the
entire time-space cosmos is the “realm” of the unreal thoughts.
D: Yes.
Q: ...coming from an unreal
“thinker.”
D: The “thinker” and “thoughts” were one
illusion.
Q: And Reality is... ?
D: God and God’s Creation. ...the Thinker and
Thought are One Reality, Now and forever!
Q: So beyond belief is Reality.
Beyond concepts is a real experience.
D: Yessssssss!
Oneness can only be experienced Now, not described or
explained. Oneness is beyond all beliefs, all concepts, all opinions, all specifics. Oneness or Truth or Enlightenment is an
experience always available Now. By seeing everything
that is false, in its entirety, the false is negated and only Truth remains.
For Truth simply Is. And there is nothing but Truth.
Q: Then Truth is not a personal
experience?
D: Truth is Universal, Absolute Experience.
“Persona” is a concept which means mask. When the mask is laid aside, the
Eternal Spirit is no longer hidden in awareness. In Reality Spirit is never
“hidden.” Wholeness completely transcends the illusory concept of parts. Truth
is openly revealed and revealing (Revelation).
Q: Well that is a breakthrough!
Mind watching, or noticing all those past and future thoughts, is not a
personal thing. That’s where the struggle seemed to come in my perception. I
mean if it’s a personal job it’s a chore, and it’s a big job that seems to take
a lot of effort. If I release the personal “me,” I am “the
looking” “the awareness.” There is nothing to defend and nothing to be
assaulted in this gentle looking and awareness.
D: (Smiling) There
is no concept of “not yet.”
Q: Yeahhhhhhh!
D: You see the personality construct was
linear. This very Moment has swallowed up the time line, all sense of
personality, all concepts of interpersonal relationship, and the “not yet”
concept. Heaven is surely a State of Mind that is Now.
This is the Grand Simplicity of Love.
Q: Hummmm
...I may ask you to remind me of this a lot in the next few days. It feels very
important to let this one in. I can feel the resistance hovering over it, kind
of moving in and out of the clarity around it. I notice that this pattern has
recently been the case. When I feel like there’s been a real kernel here that
can pop everything open, I feel an excitement and vitality and clarity. Then I
feel this dense fog roll in very quickly.
D: You think I believe that?
Q: (Laughter) Which “I” is that
coming from?
D: (Laughter) Option.
Q: Option. What do you mean?
D: (Smiling) Another
concept.
Q: Giving myself an option to
be unclear?
D: Yet Clarity is only this very Moment.
Q: So why am I afraid to be
clear?
D: Who is that “I” that is afraid? There’s no
striving in the Now. Just look.
Q: I notice that I feel like I
have to put so much mind energy forth to get some grasp of this experience, and
to hang onto it. I feel like it takes so much focus and intention,
and it feels like a great effort. It feels like something I have to work at.
And you’re saying it’s not any of that?
D: Who is the “I” that has to “work at”
something? The experience of Now is not linear. "Work at" implies
continuation, process. Enlightenment is instantaneous.
Q: Ahhhhh.
So why do I feel that it takes a concentrated effort and intention on my part
to stay with this, even in the conversation? Is it because I’m still looking
through the ego filter?
D: Resistance.
Q: So feeling like it takes
effort is resistance?
D: Resistance is an illusory “symptom” of
false belief. Do you want to attempt to think apart from God and believe that
it is possible to do so?
Q: No. But I feel like that’s
where I’ll be if I don’t keep applying this effort. I still believe vigilance
is called for. I feel the struggle of being vigilant.
D: Go past the concept of vigilance. It is
just a concept. Let it go. Persons are vigilant. You have seen yourself as a
person who carried the vigilance torch, and it seemed to be a helpful concept
for a while. Now, let it go.
Vigilance ...against what? Vigilance falls away in the recognition that there is
nothing against which to be vigilant, there is in fact
no ego. Surrender to “What Is,” for Love is inevitable. End the search Now. Accept your Self as God created You, Changelessly One
forever.
Thinking you “know” continues to be an
attachment that you have to let go of. Time plays heavily here. The past and
present you believe you’ve figured out already, and you want to “know” the
future so you can then figure it out too. In that there is no Knowing
whatsoever. You deceive yourself royally. Let Holy Spirit show you how far
reaching is your “I know” belief and what an obstacle
it is to your awareness of Love and Truth. It is a needless protection from
uncertainty and against surrender. You use it for a false sense of control
because you are fearful. And what is it you fear? The
Unknown. And that fear of the Unknown is actually reinforced every time
that you think: “I know.” The “I know” belief is a mask over the dreaded “I
don’t know.” Quit denying “I don’t know” with “I know.” Instead look at “I
don’t know.” Who is the “I” that does not know? Certainly, not the Self God
created Perfect and One. The “i” who wants to know
believes there is something in this world to “know.” It therefore feels it will
be swallowed up if it doesn’t hold onto that “knowing.”
So it comes back to self being lost in Self, i "being lost" in I, in Being. Indeed, that’s the
way it goes, that’s the way the little self disappears. The resulting Joy is
indescribable. Judgment is how you demonstrate that you believe you do “know,”
and in every instant it merely keeps hidden your unsubstantiated fear of the
Unknown that remains blocked from your awareness. You fear what you do not Know only because it is unrecognized, that is, it does not
fit one of the mental boxes you use to “safely hold the world together.”
Simply see that what you are attempting to
"hold together" is only an hallucination.
Q: Thanks for this opportunity
to open to the Truth of Real Relationship.
D: You are most welcome. It is a delight! Thank You God for creating All as One. Amen.
____________________________________________________________
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